A Mosaic Of All I Have Known

I eat my avocado toast the way Janya likes it. With a toasted piece of bread, cream cheese, avocado smashed and layered, and a sunny side up egg on top. I also like the color orange and blue together because of this girl named Teagan. I get up naturally at 6am because of my friend Finley, and even eat healthier because of her. I wear toe rings because I once saw my friend Wheeler have one on. I meditate and am more mindful because of Kaileahna. And, I am even into snowboarding now more than ever because of a boy I am in love with.

There are many times when I feel so alone in the World. It is especially hard when all of the people I love are so dispersed around the globe. I see those I love once or twice a year if I am lucky. However, in times when I am longing for each presence of those I love - I cannot but help and smile to myself when I catch myself doing something or being drawn to something that they themselves would do.

It is like an imprint. I truly believe that everybody in our lives are meant to leave an imprint whether good or bad. That each person we interact with has some sort of purpose with crossing into the timelines of our own. Everybody I have met and who has come and gone in my life have left their imprint upon the person that I am to this day.

Even those I no longer speak to - have left an impression on my life… big or small. For instance, this girl in the 4th grade that I have lost touch with - I now write my lowercase letter “Y’s” like her. I say “What’s up man” and “dude” a lot because of this friend I met in Hawai’i and who had disappeared after the first semester. I live by the moto: “Your comfort zone will kill you” because of my 6th grade teacher in Canada. I learned how to longboard because my high school friend at the time convinced me to get one so we could ride along our neighborhood during the Summer. I saw a girl with a journal from Paris at a Cafe in New York and went and got one myself this year. I also went and bought the same pair of pants a stranger was wearing in Oregon who’d I stopped to ask.

It is true that the people you choose to willingly surround yourself you also are influenced and imprinted upon. However, same goes with strangers in passing. And when you really sit to think about it - it is beautiful how in every way, people are so interconnected with each other. Because yes, we are our own individual selves; however that is built upon by imprints, impressions and discovering and trying new things over and over again.

So, when I catch myself being sad that the presence of someone I know or have known catches up to me - I can’t help but be grateful. Because in every way I carry someone along the journey of my life with me in some small way. Whether that be an avocado toast in the morning or my favorite pants I wear because of a stranger.