Little by Little! The Lost Art of Unique Identity.
Dedicated to: Arwen.
Thank you for keeping me grounded; and for being undeniably you.
Have you ever met someone that was truly so undeniably them?! The way that they talked, walked, the vocabulary they used, their style, or products used, etc. It isn’t another superficial, micro-trend, influencer wannabe. Someone that has organically found their style and hones into the art of a unique identity and self-discovery? Someone who has undoubtedly taken the time and luxury of slowing down to curate their own uniqueness.
But, what is a “unique identity?”
It’s honestly hard to pin point in our overly influential society today… I mean, seriously think about it…. everyday we are consumed with the notion and the fact of being influenced. We all get baited into it. We get reeled-in with constant new trends, “eras”, latest fashion, technology, music, styles, aesthetics, etc. In ways, of course, it can be very insightful and helpful when exploring new ideas and when honing in for new inspiration. However, how much is too much? To the point where everybody has lost their own uniqueness… or per se, the act of true exploration and deep dives into ones self? Figuring yourself out without the loudness and bombarding nature of the online World.
I personally had recognized within the past year that I was over-indulging into the fast paced process of trying to define my own style. I was persuaded by the constant trend cycles that were fed to me on the feed of my phone. Because of this, it created a confusion of the image I had seen of myself in my head vs the one that I felt like I had to be because of social media. It also created dissatisfaction of the overall journey of authentically finding myself.
Little by little, I had learn to differentiate meaningful and intentional inspiration vs the fast paced and unintentional kind (so to speak). I have discovered that the process of discovering and choosing who you want to become, the style you curate for yourself, and the things you invest in come all together in time. Hell, I am still not totally satisfied with my overall collections, nor have created my perfect ensemble of things that string together the intentionality of who I am… but the process has been a lot more calmer. Self indulgent and incredibly satisfying to say the least.
Again, each and everyone of us is used to the satisfaction of now. The instant act of adding things to our cart, the package showing up at our doorstep, seeing a trend pop up on TikTok and then immediately going out to buy it. But, for me - I personally do not think that’s how one curates a staple, long lasting, and unique style.
For instance, I have found that Pinterest has been an intentional platform of inspiration for me. I have began creating vision and mood boards; and based on what I created it has deterred me away from micro and fast fashion trends. I try to research the brand that I am buying and supporting; and if I possibly can - I try to support more local and small business brands. Also, thrifting and looking for second hand items! The satisfaction and uniqueness you can find is unmatched. And sometimes, there is an interesting story tied to the second-hand item you bought/hunted for. Furthermore, the more you become invested in the quality of something the more deliberate you become. The more you know exactly what you’re looking for; and the more aware you become with the craftsmanship and ranking of quality. Besides, the saying of “buy it nice, or buy it twice” becomes painstakingly true as you get older. Also, nothing is cooler to me than someone who goes into a store and asks a sales associates. Who takes the time to wander around the aisles and to try new products/items. It’s also fun putting yourself out there. To ask someone about a hobby you’re interested in. To challenge yourself somehow to continually learn. To come to mindset thinking that you only ever stop learning once you’re out of school is small. You’re constantly learning - so might as well put those intentions towards what you want to learn; and or garner more knowledge on something you may already know. But, always test your skills or even learn new ones. It is never too late.
And above all else - experiment! Your style will change but some things will always linger. Wether you find your favorite scent, favorite store, hobby, or brand. The art of being able to dive again and again with the true intentionality of finding yourself will outwardly express to the World.
I guess, if I am finding the words to string within this blog (in the most simplest and nicest way possible)…
Is it stop settling to always be like the next person. To stop the process of quick accessibility and to always indulge in someone else’s style. Being unintentional is incredibly lame. Originality is cool and it is so under-saturated in our World today. I personally do not think we need more clouded, copy-cat, wannabes…
Don’t feel the need to be the next “it” girl or boy. You will define your “it” once you have fundamentally and intentionally defined yourself.
All my love,
Brejette Nepa